In sports, in life

Sports groups are busy this time of year, organizing hundreds of youth onto sports teams. It’s a huge undertaking and always a struggle to find enough coaches for the season.

The first season I coached was my daughter’s U8 Blue Sharks soccer team. I didn’t really know what I was doing, but my logic had flowed like this: I used to love playing soccer. I was already at the field anyway. I might as well be coaching. Seven years later, I am still volunteering for this job, often two teams in one season. There is no better way to get to know the players than to be their coach. When I would watch from the sidelines, it would take more than half the season just to learn everyone’s names. Now I have their names memorized by the second practice.

Coaches get to see the players’ personalities up close: at a U9 practice, one player came running up, announced that he had learned something and proceeded to do the floss dance move. We had never seen anything like that, and told him it looked great! Later, my husband and I watched videos on YouTube so that we could floss too and then we would often include flossing during our warm-ups just to get some laughs from the kids.

Parents and community members may also find that they don’t need as many skills as they thought to coach. There are often training courses provided, and assistants can learn a lot from the head coach. Coaching is a great way to spend time with your own child, and make fun memories with them. (Remember the time the only game we won all season was the last one during league playoffs? We scored on a penalty kick, kept the ball out of our net and we got a bronze medal! Yup, I was on the bench.) Coaching can push parents out of their comfort zone. It’s powerful to role model to our kids that it’s okay to be a little uncomfortable while we are learning something new.

Coaching is a way to share our love of the sport, and also to learn more about it ourselves while staying active in the process. The rewards far outweigh the time and effort required. Sometimes a team will surprise you by banding together to get a gift card, or a player will come running up with a handmade card or a thoughtful gift. The best thanks, though, is the expression on a kid’s face when they do something that they didn’t think they could accomplish– it’s like they surprised themselves. You can practically see them stand taller and gain confidence.

I didn’t understand before how coaching a sports team also means giving out life lessons without even realizing it. If there is a player prone to complaining, I might remind them that if they focus on positive things, they’ll be happier. Not just in sports, but in life!

If a goalie has had a particularly rough game but played their hardest, we might instruct the rest of the players to race over and give the goalie congratulations on a job well done, which shows them how to build others up. We talk about how to handle both wins and losses and that helps prepare them for handling success and disappointment in other areas.

I’ve learned strategies like sandwiching a critique between two compliments. Such as: “I like how you’re really keeping your head up to watch for where to pass. I’d like to see you try crossing the ball to the other side of the field to the open space. Keep up the awesome speed!” This is a strategy that can also be used with family members or in the workplace.

I get such a kick out of a kid approaching me after the season has ended and saying “Hi, coach Laurel!” And they absolutely expect me to know their name in return, no matter how long it has been. Once a coach, always a coach.

These are just some of the reasons why I love coaching. If parents are still hesitant or unable to coach due to other commitments, above all, be there whenever possible. Watch while you are there. Players look to the sidelines to see their parents and obviously it’s a huge disappointment if the parent is looking at their phone and misses their child’s first goal ever (which we have seen happen).
There are tons of other ways to be active on your child’s team. Be the team manager and get the team signed up for TeamSnap, bring snacks to a game, wash pinnies/uniforms, register for tournaments or help with practice while a coach is away. There are many roles that need filling.

Let’s make this season a great one.