Holiday preferences

In the past few days, I’ve enjoyed hearing different ways that friends and family members are celebrating this holiday season.

Some are doing traditional things–family time, special holiday food, parties, gift exchanges, Christmas music.

Some friends are travelling to exotic locations and spending Christmas in the tropics. Others are going to a ski resort.

A Jewish friend is looking forward to traditional Hanukkah rituals. This year, Hanukkah begins at nightfall on December 25 and ends with nightfall on January 2, 2025. Each evening, her family’s three generations will light the menorah and read blessings. The celebrations will include four menorahs. Much light indeed!

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Traditions change as families change.

One friend is–for the first time in her life–not having Christmas Day at her home with her children and now grandchildren. Her family’s gathering was last weekend. She is delighted that all her children and grandchildren could be together, no matter what the day. She’s curious how she’s going to feel on Christmas morning.

I know people who have lost family members during the past year. They feel the loss more keenly during this season. One family, whose husband/father/grandfather died during the past year, decided to change all the family’s Christmas customs. They are going to the mountains for a few days.

Another friend is, for the first time, not hosting their family’s multi-generation Christmas dinner. She and her husband have been invited to have Christmas dinner with their son, daughter-in-law and toddler and infant grandchildren. Their daughter-in-law’s mother will also be there. My friend says it feels weird not to be the one in charge.

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Not everyone enjoys traditional ways of celebrating the holiday. One friend is “getting the family stuff out of the way on Christmas Eve.” Then she’s looking forward to several days alone with a stack of books and a fridge full of wonderful grazing food.

Another friend, who has no close family, is spending Christmas day with a colleague. They intend to create a brand new revenue stream. She and her colleague think that will be more fun than traditional Christmas activities!

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I’m remembering cherished moments from the past. I remember live Christmas trees too big for the space, but nobody cared. I remember sneaking around to keep gifts a secret. I have fond memories of laughter and whimsy.

I’m even cherishing memories of 2 a.m. on a Christmas morning. I was still wrapping gifts to be tucked under the Christmas tree before the kids woke up in the morning–probably at a ridiculously early hour. Then I encountered the dreaded words, “Some assembly required.”

Aaauugh! (It’s funny now.)

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Over the years, as family and circumstances have changed, I’ve changed too. There was a time when I could not imagine not having a Christmas tree. I could not imagine not exchanging Christmas gifts with every family member. I could not imagine not being with family on Christmas Day.

Now I’ve had all three of those experiences. I realize that rituals and traditions can mean whatever we choose them to mean. What really matters is the essence of the tradition. We can create new ways to honour the intention of our traditions.

Here’s my holiday season wish for you. Whatever your holiday beliefs and traditions are, whatever form your holiday season takes, may the last few weeks of this year intensify the love, joy, peace, generosity and gratitude in your life.

 

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I’d love to hear from you. If you have comments about this column or suggestions for future topics, send an email to Bonnie@BonnieHutchinson.com. I’ll happily reply within two business days